When things remain unsaid....

There was a streak of lightning that ripped the clouds apart and the thunder that accompanied it was even more fearful and eerie. She walked on and on refusing to stop. Her search for a doctor was tiring and endless.

There was no why she would care for someone who did not care enough for her, who left her stranded and helpless with a fatherless baby! No, there was a yet a reason! Humanity, the religion she followed was perhaps the most coaxing factor in the whole episode.

He did look different now and behaved even more differently.... rather weirdly. Those were the days in college that they had spent together, those five years of bliss.... Little did she know that they meant nothing to him or maybe very little when compared to materialistic pleasures of life.

There were times when she wanted to breathe free, wanted to feel the wind rushing through her hair, the saltiness of the sea on her tongue, the sweetness of the raindrops... But she did not ever get the opportunity to feel all of them because of him, because he did not like it, because they reflected badly on them... uh... rather him!!

Being the heir of a rich business house was not easy! He had to maintain his dignity at all points of time. It was oh-so-not-dignified to enjoy the little pleasures of life She just could'nt persuade him enough to join him! But she would do all of the things she loved like walking barefoot in the lush lawn, sitting by the sea watching the sun melt in her lap, building sand castles to find it crumbling down and rebuilding all over again, walking endlessly in the rains till they soak her soul. A party, dinner, movie, dancing and the works just did not match upto the fun she derived from her activities....

She tried to understand because she was married to him, she was the daughter-in-law of a wealthy household, sister-in-law to an upcoming actor.... But she was lost! She lost all she had including her entire identity! Marriage certainly did not mean losing one's own identity!!!

Love and marriage are different ballgames altogether. Love was when he promised to give her a world full of happiness, not that he was not! Her life was complete in all respects when it came to money, fame, riches, holidays at exotic locales, the best of jewellery, designer clothes... But the most important thing her life lacked was him by her side, no time from him at all important occassions... He was not there to savour what she cooked the first time in his house... her home, he was not there to see how she looked in a saree when she wore it the first time, he was not there when she shed tears, he was not there to share her joys.... Out travelling the world to build her a better house, get her many more designer clothes, get her a few more solitaires on her hand.... Unfortunately he had forgotten the difference between a house and... a home!!

The last straw was when she had not been able to give him the news! Everyone else knew but he... because he was out travelling!!! She had always thought he would be the first one to know whenever it happened! Shortly after he had left, she felt uneasy and threw up after which she lay unconscious... The doctor was called for in an emergency. He asked for her husband and as usual she replied in the negative. He smiled and broke the grand news to her. She had tried reaching him endlessly to surprise him on his mobile which was switched off most of the time... There was nothing she could do but wait for him.

He returned after a not-so-successful trip, tired and exhausted and her chirping appeared to be echoing in his head. Finally when he had had enough, he asked her to shut up! Of course, she did not but went on and on nagging him, about how he was not there when she found out... She could not complete that, he did not allow her! There was a huge battle of words, each taunt hurting the other like a spear. He just could'nt stand this frequency of arguments and simply stormed out of the house leaving her speechless with tears forming in her eyes.

A week passed, a month passed, months passed and she had a baby in her young arms... He had never bothered to come back even to simply check on her. The baby looked exactly like him, the same deer-like eyes seeming to haunt her... She knew she had to act fast and alimony was the last thing to support herself... A qualified architect, she went back to practising her profession just like she did when she was not married.

They were celebrating Karan's fifth birthday at a circus followed by a meal when Karan asked her again where his father was and she realised bitterly that he had not bothered to check on her for a whole five and a half years and quickly hid a tear! They were on their way back home when they saw a car bang into a tree and fall into pieces. She instructed Karan to sit where he was and quickly got out of her car and rushed towards to the dismantled car to check on the people within.... The head of the person driving the car had hit the steering wheel and he was unconscious. She checked his pulse and it was still beating. She quickly moved his head only to realise that it was him! What sort of a meeting was this? She still dressed up very much like a woman who was recently married and this was hardly the way it should have ended!

She quickly dragged him out and put him on the rear seat and raced to the nearest hospital. She heaved a sigh of relief when she found out that he only had a few fractures... All fractures would heal but a life taken away would never be back again.. Each morning she would drop Karan off to his school and go check on Vividh at the hospital and head for office. Each evening she would pick her Karan and go check on Vividh. After a week, Vividh finally regained consciousness. He was absolutely stunned to see her! Maybe he was dreaming, he thought and tried touching her! To his surprise she was there all flesh and bone!

Each of them had too many things to say! His business had not done quite well after she left as he was not able to focus on things... She ahd taken up architecture again to support herself and Karan... He thought probably she had remarried and had a son. That evening when Karan went upto him to say hi, he looked at those eyes and that face and knew what he had missed out on for those years.

So that was what she was trying to tell me! He looked at her with guilt apparent on his face. She said nothing, smiled and said, "Karan, meet your dad! He's back home after a really long trip!" At that instant, Vividh knew she still loved him. Karan climbed up on his knee and asked him, " Dad, I really missed you. When are you going to travel next?" "Never" was the prompt reply as he looked at her with moist eyes... She silently replaced the flowers in his vase with the white orchids he had always loved.....

The Last Rain

The sun was melting into the vast ocean and the last of its rays coloured the water a blushing pink and the windows were sparkling orange. This was probably the only colour that he had seen in the last one year!

His eyes went back to the bed where she lay, lifeless, silent and semi-conscious. So pretty as the first time he had laid his eyes on her but slightly pale yellowish in that cotton robe. Everything beside her was screaming out to her, telling her to break the spell and awake from the slumber! Her guitar, her books, her perfume, her favorite pink roses by the bedside and above all her husband!

She did wake up every once in a while to take her medication and to go for the chemotherapies. It had been quite a while since he had heard her laughter, her songs, her non-stop chatter.... and he missed it all. He would shed a few silent tears each night for the person he loved was going through so much pain, so much agony.... Instead, perhaps it would have been better if she quietly made her way to heaven. Of course heaven! That is the rightest place for an angel.

Life just went on endlessly from morning to night with him running from pillar to post to find out any possible way to save his angel. He didn't realise it was June already! The month of the rains, the month of romance and also her birthday happened to be in that beautiful month. He was wondering what he would give her on this birthday. Was there anything that she needed more than her life? No.... Was there anything that he needed more than her life?! And then tears started welling up in his eyes.... Would he ever be able to life his life with her? That was a question only the coming years would say.... There is nothing that a desperate man can have except for hope and that was what he had... And he would keep it going.For now, he needed a change of clothes and he headed home for a fresh set of clothing.

As soon as he stepped out of the hospital building, he felt a few drops of water on his head and he looked skywards.... It was drizzling, he rushed towards the parking lot before it started pouring. But it started raining cats and dogs before he could get to his car.

He remembered how she loved the rains... She would start strumming her guitar and he would prepare tea and both of them would sit by the French windows sipping tea and humming songs. And followed by the rain walk, a ritual coined by them who shared the common love for the gift of the heavens...

It was the magical first rains of the season, of this June.... He turned back and went to her room. He was sure she would be awake and playing her guitar... But the room was as still as before, as lifeless as before... He couldn't control himself anymore and tears started flowing freely. He was hoping against all odds that she would still be strumming that guitar and he would be getting them tea.... But no, she was too heavily sedated to even realise it was raining.

He just couldn't take it anymore. He took her in his arms and rushed down as soon as he could. And he just stood there with her in his arms in the lawn feeling the raindrops trickle through their clothes and drench them...

She felt some drops lashing at her and she opened her eyes slightly to see if it was really raining or if she was dreaming. And she saw the rain coming down by the evening lights. And for the first time in months, he saw that smile that he had always longed for! She was in no position to stand up by herself. She was yearning to stand on her own feet but just could not manage it. She held on to him and stood barefoot on the green grass taking in the sweet smell of the earth.

But she couldn't stand for more than a minute and he had to take her in his arms again. Anything for her he thought! As long as she is smiling and with me!

She felt her pain dissolving with the raindrops. She was at peace after long and felt no pain, as if she transcended into another world. She threw him the same loving glance like always and held his gaze. She was taking every bit of him with her because she realised her breaths were slowing down. He realised that but she gestured him to stop ans wait. She wanted her last trip to be with him around and not rushing away to get help like he had been doing throughout the year.... It was difficult for him to see the person he loved the most just fade away into nothingness. He just held her tight and secure with her turning into a lump in his arms.

The wardboy came running as he saw both of them standing in the torrential rain. He checked her pulse and her hearbeat and quietly shut her eyes and went inside to get the stretcher. He let out a painful scream. She was really not with him anymore..............

The death certificate read June 07, 2007 00.05 am.... He had given her a birthday gift that she would love and carry with her on her trip to heaven, an experience in the rains, with him!!!